Same-Sex Weddings: Mom Role & Etiquette

Navigating the logistics of a same-sex wedding involves a few unique considerations, especially when it comes to the role of the moms.

From attire to etiquette, here’s how to gracefully include mothers in a beautiful, inclusive ceremony.

two grooms marrying in humanist ceremony

Escorting the Aisle: Two Moms, Two Escorts?

Traditional weddings often have the father of the bride walk her down the aisle. But in the case of two brides or two grooms, how do you incorporate both moms effectively? Here are some ideas:

Each mother can escort their child down the aisle, creating a beautiful moment that highlights both moms equally.
Consider having both mothers walk in together or join their children midway if there are two aisles.
If parental figures are unavailable, friends or other family members can step in as escorts, while still honoring both mothers in different roles.

Coordinating Attire: Color Harmony with Two Gowns or Suits

When planning the attire for a same-sex wedding, color coordination is key. Here’s how all outfits can harmonize nicely:

Mothers who want to complement the brides or grooms should consider attire that aligns with the wedding’s color scheme without clashing.
For two brides, ensure both mothers are aware of dress colors to avoid similar shades, unless that’s the desired look.
For two grooms, the aftermath of the wedding photos can look seamless with complementary suit colors that reflect floral and decor hues.
To support and respect the choices of brides and grooms, moms can discuss their attire with them beforehand to ensure everyone’s comfortable with their styling.

Two Brides Mother Role

The role of the mother often shifts naturally in a wedding with two brides. Whether sharing in beauty preparations or giving a sentimental gift, the mom’s involvement should be unified without overshadowing any bride.

Embrace inclusive etiquette by focusing on:

Volunteering or planning a joint bridal party activity such as a spa day or pre-wedding brunch.
Sharing in a toast that celebrates the unique qualities and traditions of both women.

Two Grooms Mother Attire

When dressing for a two-groom wedding, mothers should prioritize elegance and comfort while respecting the overall theme and aesthetics of the ceremony:

Avoid overly flashy accessories that might draw attention away from the grooms.
Choose timeless styles that reflect each mother’s style while also complementing the broader wedding palette.
Discuss fabric and design preferences with the grooms to ensure alignment with wedding decor.

Inclusive Wedding Etiquette for Moms

Inclusive etiquette at weddings ensures an environment where every participant feels seen and acknowledged, especially the mothers of the couple:

Respect pronoun preferences in all written and verbal communications to honor how everyone identifies. This includes any wedding signage or programs.
Discuss with the couple how they wish to be addressed (such as ‘bride’ or ‘groom’) to ensure all announcements and speeches are inclusive.
Choose inclusive language and avoid assumptions about parental roles. For instance, ‘parents of’ can be more applicable than ‘mother and father of’ as it leaves room for blended and chosen families.

Dance Floor Dynamics: Dance Options for Moms

Traditionally, there are parent-child dances, but how does this work with two mothers? Let’s look at some options:

Each mom can have their own dance with their child which allows one-on-one moments filled with emotion and closeness.
Consider having a collective dance where both moms join their grooms or brides midway, emphasizing unity and family togetherness.
Swap traditional moves for personal favorites that reflect family traditions or shared childhood memories between parent and child.
If there is a special song that’s meaningful to both couples, include it to create a dance segment reflecting shared history and love.

Including moms in the dance segment can become another heartfelt memory to cherish long after the wedding has passed.

Striking the Right Balance

Caring for both mothers’ involvement without playing favorites can seem complex at first. Here are ways to achieve a fair balance with ease:

Invite both mothers to be part of pre-wedding planning sessions, ensuring they feel involved and valued from the start.
Discuss openly about any traditions each mother hopes to include so there is room for celebrating both family lines.
Balance duties such as speech-giving, guest-welcoming, and other roles to ensure fair representation.

Ultimately, communication between the couple and their families is key. This proactive engagement ensures the event not only respects but celebrates the love and union these two mothers have helped nurture and support.